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Archive for June 7th, 2008

The Pun In The Putting: Golfing Made Funny

Published under Recreation by writer. No Comments .

You see Tiger Woods play golf on TV, and you decide - right there and then, without ever setting foot on the green - you would like to play golf, too. You being you, you decide you will not only learn to play golf, you will be part of the PGA tour after a year or two.

There are many things you need to learn before you can actually lord it over everyone else on the green - or ask friends for great golf gifts. The good news is that golf is a leisurely–paced sport that lets you get in touch with your primitive side through clubs, the swinging of clubs, and the aggressive use of force. The bad news is that golf laws do not always follow known universal patterns. Consider the following golf laws you need to learn by heart:

Law No. 1: Palm trees eat golf balls.

Law No. 2: Golf balls never leap off trees and spring back into play. If one does, you could only be putting in one place: a Hollywood set.

Law No. 3: Sand is alive. Not only that, it secretly hates you. Why else does it always work against you?

Law No. 4: Par-three holes were made to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater the possibility of actually suffering loss of face.

Law No. 5: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. In fact, the more expensive the ball, the greater its attraction to water.

Law No. 6: Your best round of golf will almost instantly be followed by your worst round ever. Moreover, the probability of the latter is directly to the number of people you brag to about the former.

Law No. 7: The player you most hate to lose to will always be the one who soundly massacres you.

Law No. 8: All vows taken on a golf course and all promises made on the green are valid only until sunset.

So you see, while Tiger Woods might make the game seem like poetry, golf can be complicated, too. You might want to put off purchasing those golf items and set your sights on Zippo lighters or personalized money clips instead - at least until the next Tiger Woods news clip.

How To Stop Snoring

Published under Family by writer. No Comments .

Snoring can be a really bothering thing especially for those who sleep by you. That is why you may one day end up waking up alone. But the annoyance that occurs when you sleep is not the only thing to be afraid of it can also be a sign of a medical condition.Snoring is created when the air flows past tissues in your throat. That tissues start vibrating when you breathe and those vibrations create the loud and noisy sound. This problem (snoring) is quite common, almost one third of the population snore while sleep. It usually happens due to throat weakness which causes the throat to close when you, mispositioned jaw, fat that gathers around and in the throat or obstruction in the nasal passageway.

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So we know almost everyone snores occasionally, while around 1 in 3 people worldwide snore every night keeping their sleeping partner awake.While snoring can be harmless, it may as well be a symptom of Sleep Apnoea, a condition at which the sufferer periodically stops inhaling and exhaling during sleep, for a few moments every time. Sleep Apnoea occurs when the airway becomes completely blocked, causing the sufferer to wake briefly. They may not be informed of this, but the overall quality of their sleep can be majorly affected not only for them but their sleeping partner as well.Snoring and sleep apnoea can be very harmful to the one snoring, for the person lying next to the snorer, it can be very annoying and disturbing eventually leading to sleeping partners sleeping in different bed rooms.

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The most important thing in curing your snoring is to get your muscle tone in the throat region firm and tight, so when you sleep and they become relaxed they can still have some tension and firmness prevent the muscles in the throat from not just become droopy and floppy. To get these muscles firm and tight, there are specific exercises to recondition the muscles. Once a person starts the do the exercises they can see the improvement in their sleep and their sleeping partner’s sleep with a day or two.If you are a light snorer and do not find yourself snoring every night then there are steps you can take to stop snoring without surgery: Avoid Smoking: Yes this may be a habit that you love; however it can be causing you to have your sleepless nights. Smoking can cause throat inflammation or swelling. If you have tried to stop smoking and have desire to stop; then at least avoid smoking 2-3 hours before you lay down for the night.

Tips To Remove Bad Breath

Published under Health by writer. No Comments .

Bad Breath, or halitosis as it is officially known as, is one of those conditions that the sufferers rarely know they have. Not only that, but it is extremely offensive to others.If you suffer from bad breath the signs should be obvious to you, even if you cannot smell your own breath. Have you ever noticed anyone taking a step or two back from you when your are speaking? Have you ever tried to kiss a girl or a boy, and noticed them reluctant? This may not be due to them not liking you, but more to the smell of your breath.

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There is nothing wrong with having this problem; because there are ways you can begin to correct it.Scrape Your Tongue: If your tongue begins to accumulate some white bacterial looking material on the top of it; that is a sure sign that your breath does smell bad. You can begin by scraping your tongue with either a soft tooth brush or a tongue scraping tool; if you do not have one check your local drug store for one.Brush Your Teeth Twice A Day: We all know when we were kids that we were taught to brush and floss. However as adults we get lazy and most of us do not take the time to floss our teeth. Flossing is extremely important because it cleans inside the gaps of your teeth that your toothbrush can not reach. If you begin flossing everyday this will help reduce the odor in your mouth.Eat Foods That Make Your Breath Smell Good: Yes there are foods that you can begin eating today that will freshen your breath like; ginger, cilantro and parsley. When you do eat these types of food make sure you eat them raw because they will help restore the natural balance of colon bacteria; which can ultimately give you the fresh breath that you seek. Stay away from foods that can worsen the problem like: tuna, fish, liver and etc..

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If bad breath is a persistent condition, seek consultation with a dentist. It may be a sign of a more serious dental issue or gum disease. If a dentist rules out dental problems as a cause, a referral to a medical doctor may be in order. Certain conditions such as liver and kidney diseases can contribute to bad breath.

Quit Smoking

Published under Health by writer. No Comments .

Nobody need to be told the ill-effects of the smoking. Even then, smokers find it very hard to give up smoking permanently. Nicotine, an integral part of cigarette, is an addictive substance. As you try to give up smoking, your way of life changes. The natural tendency of your body would be to oppose this change as by now, it has become hungry for nicotine. But, smoking has unlimited side effects which cant be ignored. So, here are some tips to give up smoking in a planned and a more comfortable way.

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Tips to Quit Smoking:Have faith in yourself. Be confident that you can quit smoking. Be determined and promise to yourself. To have such determination, believe that you have such guts and willpower to quit smoking.Write a plan for quitting according to your nature and way of doing things.Make a list on why you want to quit smoking. Notice which desires and factors inspire you most: Health factor –live longer, feel better; to enhance look and personality; for your family; to save money etc.Seek support from family members and friends; let them know that you are going to stop smoking from a certain date.Talk to your doctor about your decision and ask for guidance about side effects of quitting it and other likely circumstances.

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Natural strategies will not only help you kick you habit and successfully stop smoking, but they will get you on the fast track to a healthy lifestyle. These methods can help you lose weight, sleep better, be happier, and improve your relationships. And the best part of it all is that it won’t cost you any money in purchasing expensive supplements or drugs. So as a chain smoker, get started in creating your healthy lifestyle and kick your habit without suffering from the withdrawal symptoms.Start noticing the benefits of a smokeless life. It won’t be long before you are breathing easier and thinking more clearly. Your clothing, home and car will no longer smell like smoke. You will be much more pleasant to kiss.

Aspergers Fear

Published under Family by writer. No Comments .

If you have spent even a brief amount of time researching Aspergers syndrome you will no doubt have come to appreciate what constitutes some of the ‘classic’ symptoms of Aspergers disorder. For example, children with Aspergers are said to experience impaired social functioning, difficulty forming relationships with peers, a lack of spontaneous engagement and social reciprocity, exhibit speech and linguistic irregularities, engage in stereotyped or repetitive mannerisms, and have fixations on subject matter.

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A child with Aspergers will usually sit back and watch children play and will be hesitant to join in until they are actually invited. It isn’t that they don’t want friends because they really do, but they just aren’t sure how to communicate properly. Because of this problem with communicating with children of their own age, Asperger children will often prefer to play with children younger than them or even to hold a conversation with adults.Life can be quite difficult for a child with Asperger Syndrome and because they are usually of above average intelligence they do know that they are different but they just don’t know how to change that. This can be very stressful and many children may end up with anxiety disorders or even depression.

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There is no one definitive test that can tell a parent if their child suffers from Asperger’s, so an entire group of tests are usually performed for diagnosing Asperger’s.The first step for most kids in getting a proper Asperger’s diagnosis is undergoing screening at the doctor’s that measures things like cognitive development.As any mother can tell you, these screenings are completely normal and every child goes through them. It is usually at these screenings that a doctor can tell if there is a problem or not and whether a referral should be made to a specialist.The second step is actually when your child would be assessed in order to make a diagnosis. This can be carried out by more than one health professional, so it may involve a number of appointments who would want to see your child and also speak in detail to you about their behavior.

I Wish I Had Pittsburgh Steelers And New York Yankees Tickets

Published under Recreation by writer. No Comments .

I have very active neighbors . It seems like they are always going places . We don’t get to see them too often as they are always going to one thing or another. They are empty nesters now so they don’t have any small children at home to worry about. But even when their children were young and at home the whole family went out all the time. I had some friends visiting from out of town and I brought up that they would love to go see this band play that I knew was in town as well and that I was in search of some rad tickets . She explained that she uses an on-line site that you can order tickets from for just about anything you need tickets for. The site sells any ticket you could possibly imagine, from theatre to baseball to hockey to concerts to special events . She found tickets to a Chicago Cubs game for less than $20.00 . She uses them so often and recommends them to others she feels like a walking advertisement for them. I told her I would try contacting them for MLB Tickets tickets that day. There wasn’t any problems that I could see in ordering tickets for any event on this new website, I just might have to use it again in the near future to buy my wife some tickets to the theatre show that she has been wanting to see .

I had a little dilemma . I had no clue where to go from there . My husband promised to get tickets for a musical that was playing downtown. It is my sister and law and her husband’s five year anniversary and I wanted to take them to the theatre so I told my husband to purchase the tickets in advance . When I inquired about the event tickets he said it slipped his mind completely. The situation really sucks because they both really really wanted to see that theater show . Especially because they don’t live here, and this is the only place that one can see it, and it would have been such a great surprise . I figured that with only one week left the tickets were definitely sold out . I really hated the thought of going downtown to the theater and waiting in a long line just to see if tickets were available. I tried calling but was either left hanging by the operator or put on hold to only be hung up on after ten minutes of waiting, such horrible customer service . I have never been so intensely angry at my husband before . My neighbor suggested that I check out that website online, she thought for sure that they would have them on there . Thankfully I did and found amazing tickets for the week that they are going to be here .
My work schedule is very hectic and I don’t always know when I will have time available to do the things I enjoy doing. I usually find out last minute that I have time off of work so that is the only time that I can actually make plans . I realized I was missing a lot of Arizona Cardinals games.

What’s on the Menu of the South Beach Diet?

Published under Health by Linda Miller. No Comments .

by Linda Miller

It is so discouraging to start a new diet program expecting to learn about how to eat healthy and nutritious foods, only to be given a short and not-so-sweet list of foods you are allowed to eat. This leads to boredom and failure in no time.

You will be pleased to learn that this is something that cannot be said about the South Beach Diet. If the question of what you can eat on this diet arises, it would be far quicker to tell you what you cannot eat!

There is no “forbidden fruit” on the South Beach Diet. This program simply teaches you how to enjoy the foods you love in a healthier way. For example, if you are a meat lover, the South Beach Diet doesn’t say, “You can never eat red meat again!” Rather, the South Beach Diet teaches you how to eat red meat sensibly, by choosing smaller, leaner cuts.

When you are first considering the South Beach Diet, have a long look at Phase 1. This is the most restricted part of the diet, yet you will find it is surprisingly varied and quite a few of the things you would expect you are not allowed are there on the menu.

For example, you can eat sweets during Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. Yes, you read that right. You are allowed to eat up to 75 “sweet” calories per day during Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. You can also eat beef, eggs, low-fat lunch meat, pork, poultry and cheese, as long as it is low-fat or fat-free. And if you’re a seafood lover, the South Beach Diet won’t feel like a diet to you at all, because seafood is allowed - and promoted - on all phases of the diet plan.

One of the reasons the South Beach Diet is so successful, is that you learn how to adapt your own recipes to make them healthier. Phase 1 restricts you to using only canola oil or olive oil, but you will find this actually enhances the taste of your food. You are also advised to use low-fat dairy products during Phase 1, but this is only for two weeks. From that point on, preparing home-cooked meals is a breeze.

Fruits, normal dairy products and grains are re-introduced to your choice of foods during Phase 2 of the diet but you will find your cravings for these are not nearly as strong as previously. By eating food which your body can break down easily your weight will continue to drop, until you have reached your goal.

Although the South Beach Diet menu does ask you to make adjustment to the food you eat, you will be pleased with the types of food you can still enjoy. By following the South Beach Diet, you will learn how to eat everything in a healthier manner, and this will lead to healthy and permanent weight loss.

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Home Based Businesses - When Did Customer Service Breakup

Published under Business by Thomas Griffin. No Comments .

by Thomas Griffin

We’ve all had friends in our circle who were known as “Mary & John”, and when “John” split “Mary” was alone. Mary was the “odd” number at the dinner party and we were all concerned about her. Well, today it seems that the union of Customer & Service have had a breakup. Service has split and Customer is on his/her own.

Today, let me tell you a story that many of you will find humorous but is all too common. I can tell you this without fear of our local editor getting sued because it’s about me, but business owners take note that you don’t fit the profile of company “X”.

Four weeks ago I decided that I needed another green recycling can from my trash pickup company. We’ll call them Brown Keg Trash Pickup, an anonymous company in the interest of avoiding litigation. I called their Customer Service number, and as an environmentally conscious citizen requested my extra recycle can. The cheerful voice on the other end of the line chirped, “Of course, we’ll have one delivered in 48 hours.” After giving her all the pertinent location information, I hung up the phone with the satisfied feeling of a good citizen.

I arrived home about 5 p.m. the next day and I was happy to see another green can at the mouth of my driveway. When I looked again, I noticed that I had another green can - but it was without a lid. I quickly dialed my cheerful telephone voice at Brown Keg Company thanking her graciously for the rapid service and then told her about the missing lid. Just as cheerfully as the first time, she told me to leave it at the end of my driveway after my usual trash pickup and they would replace the entire unit since they didn’t have extra lids. I agreed, and after hanging up the phone I pondered their plight of having lidless cans but no extra lids. I conjured up all sorts of scenarios that explained where all the lids to the lidless cans went, and sympathized with their predicament.

Well, 3 days went by and there sat my poor, green, lidless can at my driveway’s mouth and a replacement never arrived. Feeling empathy for this green plastic waif, I returned it to the side of it’s brother that had a lid. I called my cheerful Customer Service voice again, and reiterated the plight of my poor lidless can and after a chuckle she assured me a complete unit would be forthcoming. I found it necessary to make use of my lidless friend, and put it out the next pickup day filled to the brim. Fortunately, it wasn’t windy and all the contents remained inside it. That was 2 weeks ago, and life being what it is other more important tasks have occupied me until this morning when facing another pickup day I thought of my lidless friend.

Once more I picked up the phone and called my trash pickup company, and this time I listened to a litany of choices of buttons I could punch and chose my cheerful Customer Service button again. I was transferred, listened to a brief melody when there was a “click” and I expected my cheerful voice to chirp “hello”. The next thing I heard was another click, silence, and then the dreaded dial tone that means you’ve been disconnected. Not being one of the “fainthearted”, I simply redialed my number. Again there was the litany of button choices, my choice and the music, and just when I began to feel that all was right with the world I heard - “click”, “dial tone” and nothing.

This was not the morning for the phone to be playing games with me, so I made one more determined effort and REDIALED! “NASA, we have lift-off !” I once more heard the litany of button choices, but this time I outfoxed that monotonous voice and punched “0″. I asked for the Manager of Customer Service, I was given her name and was transferred. What greeted my eager ear was, “You’ve reached the voicemail of ……., please leave your name and number and she’ll return your call.”

So here we sit - my lidless, green can and I facing another pick-up day. This eager-to-serve plastic green waif must bravely face another dutiful day half-clothed.

You must admit that is an amusing story, and one that far too many of us have lived through, but what a sad commentary it is about our business community. Doesn’t it make you wonder if our language has changed so drastically that what we interpret “Customer Service” to mean - is not what today’s business owners mean. It makes me wonder when the marriage of Customer and Service broke-up, leaving us all the lonely ones.

Entrepreneurs and business owners take note! If you’re going to have a number for your customers to access your Customer Service, please follow these rules.

* Have the phone manned by an employee that can hear thunder and see lightening. * Give that employee training in helping the caller and not shuffling the problem to another desk. * Have an overseer, who can also hear thunder and see lightening, check that all incoming complaints were handled appropriately.

After learning how to find your customers and what they want; after getting them committed to doing business with YOU; and after wooing them to keep them as your customers - WHY WOULD YOU LET “SERVICE” DIVORCE “CUSTOMER?”

If your customers aren’t getting the service they require from you - your competitor will be only too happy to help them!

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How To Design Your Own Closet Organization Systems

Published under Home by Meryl Shana. No Comments .

by Meryl Shana

When you’re using a spare closet for out of the way storage, you need to know your options when it comes to closet storage systems. There are thousands of types of boxes, bins, and shelving out there, and any of them could be right for you.

First, decide whether you’re going for form, function, or a combination of both. If you don’t care about coordinating the look of your storage space, you have a lot more options for types of storage. Plastic tubs, rolling bins, and canvas totes are just some of your choices.

You can find a wide variety of Rubbermaid plastic totes and bins that you can use to enhance your closet storage. You could use little containers normally used for leftover food to store craft items or hardware; you could use giant totes for some of your biggest items, such as cushions from the patio furniture or the holiday decorations.

What you can do is put the large bins on the floor under the shelves, then fill up the shelves with bins of different sizes.

Labeling is one of the keys to good closet storage systems. You should clearly label each tote, bin, and tub so that you’ll always know what’s inside.

It’s best to keep all similar items in one place, so that way you can tell what’s in any box just at a glance. You can use a label maker to make the process easier, and you can always peel off the labels and switch them out later if you need to.

Another option is to label the storage bin with a permanent marker, or you can tape a piece of paper to the side or front of the bin that describes the contents.

Clear or translucent bins are the favorite of most professional organizers, because labeling no longer has to be so detailed with these. When you can see the contents, you’re even more organized, and you save yourself more time.

Rubbermaid also has a good selection of clear bins you can use as part of your closet storage systems as well. You can also find specialty storage items for your closet too, designed to hold things such as gift wrap, hobby supplies, and craft items.

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Keyword Research - SEO Management Step One

Published under Business by Terry Stanfield. No Comments .

by Terry Stanfield

Keyword research is a discipline embraced and used in SEO management by experts to allow them to determine which search terms people are searching on in the search engines. At its simplest level, this research is about studying the phrases that work for your audience and it is a real art. It is one of the most effective ways to identify niche markets that others have failed to recognize. Keyword research is very important so that the content of the pages are more attractive as much for the users as for the robots. Keyword research is not an exact science and shouldn’t be discussed like it is.

I like to focus on finding long tailed keyword phrases that have a significant number of monthly searches for that exact term with 5,000 to 300,000 competing websites. Long tailed keywords, are multi-word keyword phrases. Most folks searching with a one or two keyword are just “browsing”. Most people who use long tail keywords know what they want. Remember, you want to focus each page on 2-3 keyword phrase.

There are many free keyword research tools online. Most SEO software tools include these tools as well. Google, Yahoo and other search engines have free tools also. You want a tool that will give you the number of daily or monthly searches and competing web pages. There are even sites like “spyFu.com” that will let you see which terms your competitors are using.

How many keywords you have in an article is known as keyword density. Your keyword density should be anywhere from 3% to 7%. For example, if you were to write a 100 word article you would need to write the keyword in 7 times to achieve a 7% keyword density. For a 500-word article you would need to use your keyword 15 times to get a 5% density. I use a tool called “Content Composer” that does a fantastic job of keeping me on track.

Keyword research can be defined as choosing the words, which describe your product or service as, seen from the viewpoint of your target market is the most important step in the SEO Management process.

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