My Personal Blog

Just on everything that I see…

Archive for June 27th, 2008

Couples Counseling Is Not The Solution To Your Marriage Problems

Published under Family by writer. No Comments .

You never thought it would happen to you. But now here you are today… faced with the most critical decision of your life.

No matter what circumstances led to the current state of your marriage, all that doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters now is that you need to find a solution to your marriage problems. You desperately want to keep your family together, but the problem is - you want a solution that works.

Most people think that when marriage takes a turn for the worst; the only option is couples counseling.

But when you turn to couples counseling, the focus is on behavior, action and doing. And in fact, it’s very possible that you could DO all the tips and techniquesoffered to you by your marriage counselor, yet still end up unhappy and frustrated with each other.

Why?

Pastor and international marriage expert, Mark Gungor’s has one of the best answers I’ve seen. He makes a wonderful point that we just don’t hear enough.

Here’s what Mark said:

“If your view of marriage is flawed, all the energy and strategy you are using (such as our marriage will be better if we just do this or change that) will end in failure…you must work on your marriage BECAUSE you believe it IS valuable, not because you are trying to make it valuable.”

Did you know that most marriage counselors and couples counselors do not believe your marriage IS valuable? Many of them have already divorced, so why would they see your marriage as any more valuable than their own marriage?

They believe marriage is simply expendable and that the kids will be ok. believe that not all couples are meant to be together which is why they are so quick to give up on your marriage.

Now I know I’m making a generalization about ALL marriage counselors and I do acknowledge that there are some “renegade” marriage counselors who do not follow these beliefs. But based on the countless “horror stories” from the couples I’ve worked with over the years, these type of counselors are few and far between.

What kind of “horror stories” you ask? Good question.

I know this may be difficult to believe, but many of the couples I’ve worked with over the years who have attended marriage told me that their marriage counselor actually advised them to DIVORCE!

These people attended marriage counseling because they wanted to save their marriage, not hear from an “expert” that their marriage is hopeless!

In fact, there have been statistics recently that stated 80% of marriages that end up in divorce could have been saved if the couple had only gotten the proper help they needed.

And as time goes on…while our divorce rate continues to remain at 50%, the truth about marriage counseling is increasingly gaining more exposure with new alternatives to marriage counseling popping up all over the net.

Now the REAL question you must ask yourself is this…

If you and your spouse don’t believe your marriage IS valuable, and worth doing every positive thing you can do to make it healthy again (marriage counseling not in the list), then what hope can you have for your marriage?

The reason couples end up in the offices of counselors and therapists is because they want somebody to help them do what they’re not able to do… believe their marriage IS valuable.
If you speak with virtually any couple who has been to a marriage counselor and you’ll find them in agreement.

But the sad truth is that most marriage counselors just don’t believe marriage itself IS valuable.

What all this boils down to is this:What all this means is this:

Marriage Counselors need to take a good look at their incredibly high failure rate and realize they’re doing more harm than good.

Ultimately, the real reason for marriage counselors’ failure to save marriages may have something to do with their initial schooling and education.

Most people don’t know this, but marriage counseling as taught in universities isn’t marriage counseling at all. It’s therapy for individuals.

80% of all private practice marriage counselors in the U.S. say they conduct marriage therapy, yet only 12% are in a profession that requires them to take EVEN ONE course on dealing with couples, (Dr. William J. Doherty, Minneapolis MN)

As a result, they would rather work with each person individually, instead of as a couple.

So my advice to you is…

If you’re considering seeing a couples counselor, take this article as your alternate view. If your marriage problems persist, you’re far better off with a couples retreat or a marriage coach than a marriage counselor.

In fact, do a quick search in Google for “alternative to marriage counseling”. What you’ll find is a variety of solutions that don’t involve marriage counseling.

One of them is my own website that offers a solution called Marriage 101 which is a 100% positive marriage counseling alternative you can participate in from the privacy of your own home.

Very often, these alternatives are less expensive, less invasive and not even remotely emotionally draining – very much unlike what you might find in traditional marriage counseling.

Get the full story on couples counseling and why it’s not at all what it’s cracked up to be. For a solution-oriented marriage counseling alternative, visit Larry Bilotta’s website at FulfilledCouple.com to get your marriage back on track and put an end to your marriage problems.

Hyper Office Review Is Now Up For You Now.

Published under Others by writer. No Comments .

Hyperoffice.com claims to make collaboration easy. But is that true? Significantly are authoratative collaboration lists that fail to mention HyperOffice in any form.

Sites such as Kolabora and Mashable. Obviously many will see these datapoints very telling. After all, these aren’t just affiliate review websites they are very credible.

Read Full HyperOffice review

To Find Your Genealogy History, Go Online !

Published under Family by writer. No Comments .

Inquisitory and building a genealogy on the world wide web has at present become a more thrilling and to a lesser extent time-consuming procedure. Altho you may expend a long time to recover your family before, building your genealogy on the world wide web foreshortens the procedure.

You have a lot of alternatives because genealogical internet sites in reality admit you to construct a genealogy on the world wide web. Making a genealogy on the world wide web on known and accomplished family tree internet sites may attain the total problem faster and easier. What these websites offer up constitutes a large accumulation of family data points then that you do not have to apply fourfold searches to establish a genealogy on the world wide web.

You’ll be able to explore and progress your on internet in different styles as well. A successful look up for building a genealogy on cyberspace likewise devolves on the relations geographical background.

Unrestricted records are a distinguished reference for building a genealogy on cyberspace. Miliary records are yet some other imagination for build family tree online .

Just as electronic computers have revolutionized building a genealogy on cyberspace, so will you expose the computer memory capacity equally adjuvant. Remember to utilise a notebook which assists you ascertain and building a genealogy on cyberspace.

Many more selective information you can come up at http://goldenboar.com/familytree

Hybrid Car Conspiracies - Do They Exist?

Published under Automobile by writer. No Comments .

You may not believe that you can run your car on water. Well, I have news for you - this topic has really exploded in the last few months. Interestingly, the technology to convert your car into a hybrid does actually exist. I won’t bore you with the details. But all you need to know is that you can definitely do it.

That rises the question - are huge oil and gas companies trying to stop this getting out?

I think the answer is yes, for sure. But I doubt they are conducting huge marketing campaigns and spending millions of dollars to stop people talking about hybrid cars and running your car on water. It’s just not possible.

Still, there are some interesting conspiracy theories. Stanley Meyer (the guy that first came up with the water fuel cell) was apparently poisoned by government/oil company officials, after being offered $1,000,000,000 to sell his technology to them, and refusing to do it. That may seem pretty unbelievable. But you can Google it and look at YouTube video’s of Stanley Meyer (there are several) and make up your own mind.

But anyways, if you want to convert your car to run on water, you can definitely do it without worrying about getting assassinated.

Crafting Oak Furniture - Timeless Quality

Published under Home by writer. No Comments .

If you are planning to redecorate your bedroom and you want a truly timeless décor, that is both elegant and yet regal at the same time, you may want to treat your self to some solid oak bedroom furniture.

Oak furniture is actually crafted, and yes, crafted is indeed the right word because unlike modern mass produced furniture, which is very expensive by comparison for what you get, a piece of solid oak furniture can bring a natural presence to the room it is situated in.

Quite often some designs can be almost works of art and they will certainly outlast their modern furniture counterparts which are often made from off-cuts and bonded woodchip.

The oak used for furniture can originate from many different countries such as Scandinavia or the Mediterranean, for example. Oak may even be treated differently dependent on the country of origin.

This is of course quite a strong point in favour for choosing solid wood furniture, because if your decorative tastes change over time you can re-treat the oak with a different finish.

Maintaining the wood is also something you will also want to learn about if you wish to nurture its glowing beauty, this can often be very therapeutic and rewarding especially if the oak has faded over time.

The final decision to go for oak bedroom furniture can rest on a number of variables depending on the purchaser.

A young couple with children will perhaps buy it because it is very robust and often knocks and scrapes blend in and almost look natural adding to the uniqueness of the furniture.

For modern young and fresh styles of décor the lightness of the wood blends with many wall coverings and styles making it a very versatile choice, and it not uncommon to mix oak furniture from other rooms as many pieces sit so well together.

Oak furniture is also suitable for a more masculine and feminine living environments, as one the one hand it is strong and bold, as well as sensuous and sturdy. And yet on the other it can also liven any woman’s domain by proving to be soft, alluring, fashionable and sensitive and is never out of style in a variety of different lighting conditions.

Once you start to investigate the ranges available you will be pleasantly surprised to find that oak bedroom furniture comes in a variety of different styles and different finishes.

Another plus point for choosing oak is that it does not need to come from the same collection, as long as the finish is similar each piece can be strikingly different and yet still blend together naturally as though they were part of the same set.

Buying Oak furniture for its longevity and style is a good investment for any family both young and old.

Oak bedroom furniture is timeless, stylish and beautiful. It matches any décor and color combination as well as giving you that clean decorators feel for any room and if you ever get tired of it unlike modern furniture it has a good re-sale value if you wish to sell it on.

The Epitome Of Organization Is Mobile Case And Camera Holder

Published under Family by writer. No Comments .

This probably sounds insane to you, but at the time it all made complete sense to me. I understand that the following will make me out to look like a crazy stalker freak or if you are very very understanding person maybe just a bit on the psychotic side of the spectrum, which is probably a complement . My girlfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up. So I left my cell phone holder [/spin] on her bedroom floor so I could have a few more minutes alone with her, even if they are hostile minutes | over at her place to give me an excuse to go back there[/spin]. I don’t want to break up with her. She is a gorgeous girl that is sensitive, intelligent, hilarious, and has a butt load of money in a trust fund from her rich rich father . She doesn’t even have to work if she doesn’t feel like it. That’s exactly the kind of life I’ve always wanted for myself. Yeah, love would be great too, but money is far more practical. It would be the biggest mistake of my life if I were to just be lazy piece of crap and not make amends for whatever it was that I did to upset her the way I did . But I have an excuse t go back there with flowers and a bottle of wine and I can act like I’m sorry and she’ll get all weepy-eyed. I don’t even feel sorry anymore but I know that this will work so I do it anyways, I have a lot invested in the relationship .

How Can I Choose the Right Small Blu Ray Drive

Published under Computers by writer. No Comments .

Blu ray drives are a relatively new type of technology that you’re going to be reading more and more about very soon. While a lot of people may have heard of Blu ray technology in terms of DVDs and CDs, but they may not be familiar with the basics of a small Blu ray drive. When you begin your search for your Blu ray drive , whether you are looking for a portable external hard drive or internal Blu ray drive, you may not know exactly where to begin. It is always important to look for drives that match your needs, whether those needs are speed, capacity or cost . By knowing how to compare drive features, you can make sure you are researching the best product for the amount you want to spend.

Blu Ray Drive Recording Speed

One of the important considerations to note is the speed of the drive. Blu ray is full of fast moving files, and a lot of data can be copied at once. A Blu ray drive has a much faster duplication speed than a DVD drive and this, in itself, is a top consideration for most buyers . Making sure your drive is fast, and can perform , is important. A lot of people go with Blu ray technology simply for the speed, so this factor is a top consideration for some.

Capacity

You should select a Blu ray burner that can handle a large amount of data . Blu ray technology is capable for moving large gigabyte (GB) files in under an hour. It is therefore important to know exactly how much your Blu ray drive can handle if you plan on working with large files . Most drives can store as much as 50GB of data, for example. If you don’t have a ton of big files you may be able to save a little money by buying a drive with less disk storage capacity.

Who is the Blu Ray Drive Manufacturer?

The manufacturer of your Blu ray drive can be a very important consideration when trying to select your new Blu ray drive. When looking online, you can find reviews on equipment by the companies who manufacture Blu ray drives. By looking and reading online, you will know what companies to potentially avoid (because of their reported issues but do not always believe what you read), and what companies are known for putting out quality products. While all Blu ray drives will work right right out of the box, reviews can help you to figure out which one to pick for the long haul .

Cost

A major consideration for most people when looking to purchase a new piece of hardware is cost . Once you have done your research, you can begin to compare prices to understand where you can get the best price and quality for the type of Blu ray drive you want. While you might not be able to find a drive that is exceptionally inexpensive, you will be able to find some very good ones at reasonable prices.

While not all Blu ray drive features may be important to you, it is important to at least note each one. When you pay attention to all the different elements of the drives, you will begin to understand which products are quality, and which drives may be giving you less of what you need with regards to price. Knowing the cost along with all other considerations helps you understand if you are getting the best deal for the best price, without paying too much. Do not be afraid to do your research and to ask yourself questions about each drive you research, since this will determine how to select and pick the right drive for you.

Laser Eye Cost - What You Need To Know About Laser Eye Cost

Published under Health by writer. No Comments .

When dealing with laser eye cost you have to factor in several issues which will ultimately affect the bottom line.

Many people are lured to laser eye surgery by some precise advertising which usually promotes a special pricing but what you need to realize, there are usually conditions to meet before you qualify for these special prices.

Laser eye cost is usually about $2000 per eye and has been rising steadily over the past few years. This is mainly because of new technologies becoming available such as wavefront.

But the thing to remember, cost aside, the benefits usually outweigh the risks when it comes to laser eye surgery and while you need to consider your budget you also need to take into account the benefits the surgery may have for you.

This is why even before you make a decision, always sit down with a laser eye surgeon and discuss the procedure and what it can do for you.

Can You Afford Laser Eye Surgery?

Costs of laser eye cover several areas. Firstly, your budget will come into account. Can you afford the average cost per eye of about $2000? If you can’t pay for the cost up front then speak to your laser center about a payment plan. They are usually available.

Then there is the cost of insurance. Always ask whether the procedure is covered by insurance.

If you have been attracted to a center through hard to resist advertising which quoted laser eye for less than a thousand dollars per eye bear in mind that this is okay provided you meet some rigid qualifying rules. The cost advertised may also simply be a base price.

Cost is also determined by the use of different technology. For example, new wavefront technology is more expensive than traditional. Wavefront allows the surgeon to evaluate the refraction of a patients eye more accurately.

Price can also be affected by different regions as well as different laser eye centers. Include things such as pre-testing, overheads and post surgery recovery and suddenly the original price which attracted you to laser eye surgery is not looking such a bargain anymore.

Legal Implications Of Laser Eye

When considering laser eye cost it is important that you understand the full financial terms of having this procedure conducted. Often, the price that is quoted, to have the procedure accomplished, is priced per eye.

Also, in the advertisement or contract, it is important to read the fine print. In the fine print are qualifying statements that may indicate that the cost is based upon on the accomplishment of an average procedure. Embedded within the fine print may be the wording that cases involving a greater degree of correction may reflect additional costs.

Also, the full terms should reveal additional fees for any prescriptions that are required, use of any special eyeglasses or lenses following the surgery or follow-up visits. No one likes surprises therefore it is beneficial to have full financial disclosure prior to your laser eye surgery.

It is important to note that many insurance plans that cover vision care do not include laser eye cost as part of their coverage. The insurance companies’ rationale is that this type of surgery is considered to be cosmetic in nature.

However, there are financing options available that are offered through lenders. Also, another dollar saving option is the possibility that your laser eye surgery may qualify as a tax deduction.

Do Your Own Divorce In Orange County, California. Here’s How.

Published under Society by Jon D. Alexander, Esq.. No Comments .

by Jon D. Alexander, Esq.

Should you and your spouse be able to agree on some essential issues you may be able to administer your own divorce, thereby saving you legal fees and the hassle of battling over property. The Orange County, California Superior Court makes available a packet that contains most if not all of the required documentation required to perform your divorce.

You and your spouse are properly suited for do it yourself (”DIY”) divorce if the both of you:

1. Have been married less than 5 years;

2. Agree about how to divide possessions and debts;

3. Have no children together;

4. Have less than $32,000.00 in property together;

5. Owe less than $4,000 (four thousand dollars) together.

If you answer yes to all of these, a DIY divorce may be a fantastic option. The packet of forms for your DIY divorce provided by the Orange County, California Superior Court can be found at http://www.occourts.org/scripts/formsearch.pl?PacketNum=L012.

Be sure to pay attention to the Superior Court’s disclaimer: Packets have been developed which meet filing needs in most circumstances. There may be some circumstances when additional forms (not included in the packet) will be required by the court.

If, however, you answered no to some of the items above, it’s most likely time to retain a qualified Orange County, California divorce lawyer. You will have many questions and may indeed require representation. For a free consultation please visit us today at www.oc-familylawyers.com to schedule a convenient appointment.

About the Author:

Show Your Love & Respect & You Win A Russian Girl

Published under Society by David Smythe. No Comments .

by David Smythe

After you take the time to find the girl of your dreams, and the dating that you have been doing turns into a serious relationship, it might be time to consider marriage. There are ways that you should act during the engagement and the actual wedding to make her know that you love and respect her.

Russian girls tend to grow up fast because of the economical and political situation in modern Russia. It often forces them to start working much earlier in life, as early as high school. They need to make money to live and help out their families. Many girls are underage when they start working as dancers or waitresses.

Working at the international travel industry may be another option for these girls in Russia. This will make them realize that money is never a problem and also that fun never comes to an end. This does not mean that they sell their bodies for a huge payment. You will also never presume that your date might be doing this. This is very important if you are looking for a Russian girl.

These girls just look for people from foreign countries who give them respect and also the sufferings that they have undergone. The western society is considered to have ladies that just look for gold only. They cheat you and laugh at you as they break your heart and steal your money. Women from Russia are different. They are polite and loyal and also expect the same. Once you have shown your Russian woman that you are looking for charm and personality rather than just looks, you will win their trust and must start thinking of proposing her for your marriage.

Modern Russian tradition dictates that an engagement should last from 2 weeks to 1 year before the marriage takes place. The bridegroom should be responsible for preparing a romantic atmosphere in which to ask her to marry you. The man should also be in possession of the engagement ring until it is time to ask for her hand. Nowadays, it is not nearly as important to get her family’s opinion before the engagement although if it is important to the future bride then it is something you should consider.

After you receive the “yes” you were hoping for, it is time to meet the whole family if you haven’t done this as of yet. You will be expected to be respectful and modest. In Russia if you have a difference in age it will matter so even if you are educated, wealthy, and handsome, you may still encounter problems with the future in-laws. Make sure you do not show a high ego of yourself and be careful of what you say. Many Russians do understand some English although they may not be able to speak it as well. So, any thought that may not be as nice as you want it to be should remain in your head.

The local Russians are loving and very hospitable. Marriage is very precious and goes on for two to three days. Make sure that you meet all the members of the family including the cousins, grandparents and aunts who come from all over the country to spend their time with you on this special occasion.

Do not neglect any family member, as it is expected that you meet all of the. Prepare for many hugs and kisses from people you do not know or have never heard of. This is the way that they are showing you that they like you and will accept you into the family.

You will have no issues to worry as the bride will be right next to you and tag along. Questions regarding the customs and rituals can be asked without any hesitation. The bride will be happy in explaining it all to you.

At the end of it all, it is important you enjoy the moment as it will be something that you will always cherish.

About the Author: